What Helped You? – Resources (Part #1)

I have been asked what are some of the things that helped me find success against the temptation of sexual addictions. Thinking back on where I have been since November 2004, there are three areas I can specifically attribute to helping me find success against the temptations.

For the next three weeks, I would like to share one of the areas that helped me find success against temptation with you. This week I would like to share some of the resources I have found as aids in my struggle.

When I confessed my addiction to my wife, I knew I needed to get help. My first desire was to start meeting with a counselor ASAP. A specific counselor I have know for years had a waiting list that would require a few months of waiting before I could meet with someone in his office.  There was no way I was going to find any victory without starting something soon. Plus, how was my wife going to see that I was serious if I was not doing something, now? 

Setting Captives Free was a place I found online to give accountability while I was waiting to see a counselor. Their website, settingcaptivesfree.com has an online program  for people dealing with sexual impurity called Way of Purity.  Way of Purity is a 60-day interactive course that takes you through all aspects of your struggle and helps you find freedom. The curriculum is based on scripture. The most valuable part of the curriculum for me was the assigning of an online mentor to walk with you daily through the course. Each day, your questions will be emailed to your mentor and anyone else you request. The mentor will be there to encourage and challenge you. I highly recommend the course, especially if you do not have someone to hold you accountable.

During the I was in  the Way of Purity course, I picked up Every Man’s Battle by Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker. Every Man’s Battle gave >
some practical steps in facing the everyday struggles. The one portion of the book I remember well was about the concept of “bouncing your eyes”. For anyone who is not familiar with the term, it is the process of when you see something that will cause you to lust and move your eyes to something non-arousing.  The process of “bouncing” has been helpful, especially when I am traveling during the summer months.


Another book I found to be helpful and I highly recommend is The Game Plan by Joe Dallas. The Game Plan is set up to guide you through a 30-
day reading and implementation of The Game Plan. The odd numbered days require you to read a portion of the book. The even numbered days will have questions or applications for you to complete.  Joe details how he struggled with sexual sin and wants to offer hope to others. The book does not pull any punches. I consider it a must read for any man seeking integrity. I consider it a must read so much that I have purchased several copies of the book and given them to men I have met with and to friends.

The resources I have mentioned are just a few of the many resources available to help find freedom.  If you have any questions, please feel free to let me know through the comments sections of this page or by emailing me brett@changeyourlane.com.

Next week, I will be talking about the area of confession.

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