You head into work after an early morning. The day has a long agenda and could be stressful. But you enter the office with a peace that no matter what happens today; you are going to make it through the day. This morning during your quiet time, God reminded you in your prayer that He is with you through all parts of your day. He reminded you in the short time spent reading the Bible that He loves you more than anything else. As the day progresses, there were a lot of hard times, but each one was manageable. Putting each event into perspective and speaking to God in short prayers throughout the day, reminded you that you were at work and there was more to your life than just getting the client to agree to a price change.
At home, you walk in the door, tired, but noticing your wife struggling to get dinner completed amidst the kid’s homework. Emptying your pockets, you go over to greet the family and lean over to kiss your wife on the back of the neck, catching her off guard. You then proceed to help finish getting dinner ready. It would be great to sit down and just relax for awhile, but you see she needs the help you can provide. The desire to go to the computer and “relax” comes to your mind, but there is now strength to stay in the kitchen to help out.
After dinner and some family time, your wife asks if you need to spend some time relaxing at the computer. You tell her no, but want to talk. You have decided to tell her about your viewing of porn for the last few years. It scares you to think about telling her, but the guys in your group will be calling you tomorrow to see if you followed through on your commitment to them. When you told the group the night before, they did not yell at you or tell you how horrible you were for viewing the porn. You were convinced they would at least kick you out of the group for telling them about your struggles. It actually led to another person in the group sharing his own struggle that was being kept from the group.
Your wife is shocked and hurt from hearing what your relaxing time on the computer was really all about each night. But she was relieved to know the group was going to be holding you accountable. She promises to work through the new information given to her and help see the marriage restored to a better level than before.
As the days pass, you find God is reveling Himself more and more to you. The passages you are reading each morning give you hope and a view of how much God really does love you. When you are at church, you find yourself feeling God’s desire for you pull on your heart like never before.
Before confessing to the group, you felt alone and God was just for other people. But God brought you to a place where you felt shattered, broken, and helpless. All you could do was tell Him you will trust Him and admit your struggles to the group.
Now you know He is there for you. He does have power to heal and He wants the best for you. He has even put some people in your life that seem to be struggling with things similar to you. Maybe you can tell them your story and let them hear how God still works in lives today?
Maybe your wife does not accept your confession of the struggle in your life. This is a possibility, but it does not mean God is any smaller. It just means He has His arms around you even more. There is hope in what He can change in your life. If you need a safe place to talk or are looking for help, please feel free to contact myself. You should also be able to find a safe place with an elder or pastor of your church. Reaching out and finding the safe person to confess all your struggles will allow you to see God more than when you were focused on yourself.
God does not push you away because you seek something before Him, but just the opposite. He is waiting for you to turn from the thing(s) that have your mind and heart. All He wants is you. All He asks for is your repentance and willingness to confess to another person.