Love is something we all desire. It is something God put in each of us. Think about your first love. What was the first thing you loved that you can remember?

Was it a favorite toy, was it a delightful desert? Maybe it was a best friend? Could it have been your parents?

I want you to think about Adam (from the book of Genesis). He did not have earthly parents. He did not have friends to play with. All he had to love was his Creator.

 The first desire for man was to love God.

God put the burning desire in us to seek Him. But God wanted to give us more. Just like any good parent, he wanted to give to His child.  So he gave Adam a mate, Eve. Someone he could touch, hold, relate to in a way that He could not relate with God. Someone who could open his eyes and see God with a new perspective. Of course, this new perspective could be corrupted. The corruption brought about selfish desires.

How does this relate to sexual addiction?

If you find yourself craving porn, erotic stories, strip clubs, massage parlors, prostitutes, extra-marital affairs, you probably feel something missing inside. Most people who find themselves stuck in sexual addiction are looking for something more.

Sexual addiction gives you an outlet to feel loved. But the love you feel is coming from the sense of power, selfishness.  The addiction is a place where you look only to yourself and exclude the feelings or emotions of everyone else around you. “It is my desires that need to be met” that might be going through your mind. But whatever it is that you may be thinking, it is seeking power… or love.

As long as you think you are in control of your situation, not really, but you may think you are in control, you feel worth. There is a longing to be wanted. The lady on the screen gives a sense of joy that you may not feel from anything else in your life. She is there for you whenever you feel needed. You can turn to her when you are nervous, scared, tired, bored, angry or sad. She will not talk back. She will not offer suggestions. She is just there. There for you to use her.

No harm was done, right?

But what if you’re wrong? 

What if there was harm done?

You just loved someone who is not even for you. You gave yourself to someone that could care less about your feelings. You sacrificed an intimate moment with someone who truly loves you. You gave the intimate moment to yourself. You gave your love to someone who can not show any love in return.

 Your spouse or if you are not married, your future mate, has been robbed of your love.

God has been robbed of your love.

You were robbed of a chance to receive God’s love.

 The moment to take the time alone with someone other than your spouse, took away time to receive and give true love. The saddest part, the true love was there waiting for you.

You may be fighting with your spouse. You may not have a spouse. The true love I am referring to is God’s love for you and the love God gives you to love others. and truly be loved by them? Seeing this love is next to impossible, when your eyes are focused on the image or the situation engulfing you at the moment.

His voice is speaking to you, but it’s unlikely you can hear it when you are tuned into yourself. There is only one way to hear His voice, receive His love.

Stop what you are doing and seek Him; listen for His voice. 

As long as you focus on the things that cause you to keep love to yourself, you will not hear His voice. But if you stop and start looking for Him, you will find Him. 


 It may be difficult to find Him at first. You have been so tuned into yourself for so long, you will to learn to
readjust. The great news is God is there to help you readjust. You may not see it at first, but He is there. As time passes, as you start seeking Him each day, as days pass from when you left your selfish love behind, you start to see Him more. You can start to recognize His voice. You are able to feel His love.

God does not intent to reveal Himself to you all at one time. He will give you more of Him in pieces. The pieces provide the journey towards Him, towards an endless and unselfish love, a love that never ceases to grow. Unlike the love you experienced in the past, His love does not end when you turn off a monitor or pay the bill. His love will always be there. You will be able to find it day and night, at home or at work.

The hardest part of finding His love is to give up on the love you already trust. When you give up on the selfish love engulfing your life, you take the first step, the hardest step.  But after taking this step, you will find so much more to love. Are you willing to make the first step toward a greater love?

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