Do you feel lonely and separated from the people around you? Do you wish you had someone you could trust?
A gentleman shared a story with me about a struggle he was having with his wife. Simon, his name changed to protect his identity, has lived his life afraid to trust other people in his darkest times. When trouble would come his way, he would retreat from those closest to him and hide his fears.
Simon found safety in controlling his pain. The control was found by internalizing the pain and keeping it out of the sight of the people he cared about the most. The control and hiding of the pain eventually put an emotional and physical distance between his wife and himself. Communication suffered between the two and they drifted apart.
As the two drifted apart, trust was lost and abandonment was embraced. With hope lost, Simon did something he rarely did in the last several months, he gave his wife a hug. The hug was not just a friendly pat on the back or a side hug. Instead, it was an emotional embrace. The hug was his way of saying “I am here and I want to fight for you.” The act of giving her a hug allowed her to feel a sense of connection. Simon dropped some of his fears and emotionally connected with his wife. He connected in ways he thought were lost from the insecurity and fears he let control his life.
Through Simon’s tear filled eyes as he shared his story, I saw hope in the simple act of a hug. Simon did not just give one hug, but has been giving his wife a hug every day since the first hug. Paraphrasing Simon, he went from the lowest of lows to a renewed hope, all through the power of the hug!
In your marriage, you may feel more alone than the days when you were single. But, you are not alone! God does not want you to live alone. The act of non-sexual physical contact can bring security and a greater sense of intimacy with your spouse than any amount of money or sexual contact. The hug communicates compassion and empathy. Walls can be torn down through the simple act of giving a hug.
No words will ever replace the power of the hug. When you don’t know what to say, give a hug…When you feel helpless in helping your spouse, give a hug…When you are excited to see him, give him a hug…When you appreciate something she is doing for you, give her a hug.